Too busy? Procrastinating? Overwhelmed? This might be what's REALLY going on...
May 16, 2019
I coach people all day long to get out of their own way, shine their light, share their gifts and SERVE their asses off! But lately, I have found myself tweaking and tweaking my own website (this one you're reading this on), my about me page, my offer copy, all the things...and NOT sharing it with ANYONE. I've been putting my site on the backburner, telling myself that I'll work on it soon so that I can get it "just right" before I put it out there.
I can pretend that I've been "too busy" or "focused on other things". I can tell myself that it's because my biz partner BFF Pua and I have a digital media company and Pua is wayyy better at websites than me (seriously, you guys, she's a magical wizard) so I need to
impress her or at least not make our company look bad.
But what I know from coaching many many clients through this type of thing, this is not about busyness, too much on my plate, or impressing Pua (who by the way, graciously offered to help me build my site, but I was too embarrassed to show it to her) - this is a classic "upper limit" issue rearing its cute little head (check out The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks for more on upper limits
You see, as we begin uplevel in any way, as we shine brighter, put ourselves out there and let ourselves be seen more, our ego can get really uncomfortable with all the expansion. It takes us beyond the normal range of emotional exposure we're used to. We feel more vulnerable to judgment, there's more risk for disappointment, and frankly, it's just NEW and weird.
Whether it's a new platform, new project, or really anything out of our comfort zone, our mind begins to play tricks on us ("I'm too busy", "I don't know how to do this", "It's not ready", "I'm not ready") as it tries to keep us "safe" from whatever bullshit story we have about what will happen if we expand and expose ourselves in new ways. Unfortunately, trying to keep ourselves "safe" just keeps us feeling small, stuck, and frustrated.
So how can we transcend our upper limits and stop ourselves from shrinking back down when our soul wants to rise? We can start by identifying what our ego's defense is when it starts to feel scared of increased emotional exposure. What is your ego's drug of choice? Is it busyness? overwhelm? procrastination? anxiety? resentment? blame? numbing out?
For me, it's all of the above. Luckily, as a coach that has the honor and joy of coaching others through their upper limits, I've learned to question and examine EVERYTHING as a possible upper limit symptom in myself. I've also found, for my clients and myself, that one of the best cures is reminding ourselves that at the end of the day, the thing that matters MOST is not having the perfect website, copy, photo, caption, or *ahem* blog post, it's that the people that need your message and support can get it.
Whoever you are, whatever you do, however you serve - we mustn't let our fear of judgment get in the way of our service, our message, and our truth! The people that REALLY need your gifts and need to hear what you have to say don't care about things being perfect, they just care that YOU CARE and that you can help solve their problem or heal their pain. 💖
Make today the day that you get out of your own way, share even more of your light and your truth (typos and all), and courageously risk the emotional exposure in the name of service and love.
P.S. Hey Pua, this is my website. What do you think? Can you help me with it? 😂